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Effective communications

Over the years I have learned that there are usually two areas of fundamental problems in most companies and in most personal relationships. The first is “communication” and the second is “money.”

Effective communication requires more than talent. It involves trust, respect, understanding, empathy and resolution. It is an art.

As time goes by there will be continual information on this blog as to how to deal effectively with communication issues, money issues as well as many more topics and it will all be in the context of creating and appreciating an artistic approach to handling life.

 

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“From where I sit…”

Three days ago on the airplane from Amman to London I found myself next to a sleepy fellow who was huddled up facing the window with his arm wrapped around the lady in the window seat and his head resting on her chest. Like a kid with a big round pillow. She was very round and short.

When he awakened he wanted to talk. I was interested because he clearly came from the Middle East and was very articulate. His wife, the pillow, was in traditional garb and very reserved.

Turns out he is a university professor in Great Britian and has just been with his family in Iraq having not seen them for years. He has been living in GB for twenty five years and had just been lecturing in China a few weeks ago. An interesting fellow.

He was passionate in his communication style. Gesturing with his hands, grabbing my arm and poking me to emphasize various points. So what did he have to say?

1. Iraq is a total mess.

2. The government is the pawn of the US, not the people.

3. Religious dissent is caused by the media and government not the people, they get along fine with their local neighbors.

4. They don’t like democracy, look at other countries in the area: Libya, Egypt, Syria, Jordan, Iran, etc. all run by dictators. In Iraq there is no electricity because the current government doesn’t care for the people.

5. Hamas, now this is in Gaza, understands and cares for the people.

And so it went. He believes that the United States is controlled by special interests as is Iraq. Evidence is Obama being a product of the Chicago machine. Bush invaded Iraq because Saddam tried to kill his father. And politics is LOCAL.

Yesterday I watched the senate hearings for Sec. of State. It was a typical DC event. Each senator given ten minutes to question the candidate, Hillary Clinton. The first eight to nine minutes used to position and promote self and then a soft ball question that is answered with platitudes. On the topic of people and management the candidate explained she will be very busy so she has appointed two new deputies. One will handle the people in the State Department and the other will handle all the operations in the State Department. She acknowledged she doesn’t have the time or talent to do either. She will be busy travelling and dealing with important issues after her people do the research needed.

Everybody sees the world from “where they sit” and if you want to have productive impact you must relate to them from where they are. Yesterday in my CEO Forum group we discussed Emotional Intelligence. Decisions are made and opinions are forged based on the past emotional experience of each person.

Spend some time to reflect on why you believe what you do and act the way you do. It has a lot to do with how you process emotion and your past experiences. Also, please take into consideration that everyone has had a different life experience and that’s why we are all different.

From where I sit it seems “the more things change, the more they are the same.” We make a difference one person at a time. Everyone is watching you and your behaviors, what do they see and believe based on the evidence?

The Killer App

Many companies, especially the startup type, are seeking to define and implement their “KILLER APP” which is short for their killer application that will set them apart from and ahead of any possible competition in the market place.

A couple of years ago I was at the Riviera Country Club in  Pacific Palisades, California at a LAVA, Los Angeles Venture Association www.lava.org, meeting to hear the US Vice President of Nokia www.nokia.com. He started his presentation with a joke. It was about the way Nokia was going to create the newest and best KILLER APP. Basically he explained that the majority of the time people don’t really need their cell phones for anything significant and most people used their cell phones to “kill time” while waiting or driving or generally to alleviate boredom. Nokia was going to solve this problem by providing extra games and applications to be used on the cell phone. A phone that was MORE than just a phone.

Another view of KILLER APP is promoted by Tim Sanders in his book, LOVE THE KILLER APP, www.timsanders.com. The book suggests that we give away three things.

1. Knowledge

2. Network

3. Compassion

In the year 2001 I co-founded and became CEO of a company  to help the world communicate better. The other co-founder is a long time client and friend of mine. Our intention was to use the Internet to facilitate improved communication between companies. We developed an approach that was “beyond” using keywords to find what you needed. We even applied for a patent and when I met with the US Patent office attorney I remember him saying “I’ve never seen anything like this.” Several intelligent people thought it was remarkable.

Our KILLER APP was the Q-Rating. Every time there was a transaction the buyer rated the supplier on Quality, Responsiveness, Delivery and Price. The buyer was rated by the supplier on Responsiveness and Payment to terms. Using the law of large numbers and a complex algorithm it facilitated open and honest communication as well as amazing efficiency. It worked very well.

However, there was a problem. There are basically three ways to make money on the Internet: (ATM) Advertise, Transaction Fee or Membership Fee. We chose a membership fee. The mistake was we should have given it away FREE until we built up a large user base.

A young fellow I met last year understands this principle very well. He has created one of the most popular web sites on the Internet. Check it out: www.StevePavlina.com. He gives away free information for smart people interested in personal development.

This post was prompted by a dear friend of mine who is a fellow USAF pilot of a few years ago and a graduate of the US Air Force Academy, he’s no slouch. He was curious about why I was giving away so much information on my blog.

The old school of business is to focus on transactions and revenue. I agree, this is important. However, given that I consider values of the highest importance, I have chosen to use my blog to give away as much information as I can. I believe that is important.

The next step I will be taking is to start compiling links on my blog to people I have known who give superior service. Stay tuned and you will see the links accumulating in the right hand column near the bottom, Blogroll.

“It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Acts 20:35

Are you being paid enough?

As the song goes: “Money makes the world go round…” Well, let’s think about that for a minute.

When you are engaged in meaningful work it has a tendency to pay you more than just money. There are some things in life that are priceless. Here are a few types of currency that you might seek in addition to a good pay check.

  • Knowledge and growth
  • Relationships that give you energy & power
  • Fun
  • Life choices you want
  • Legacy
  • Reputation and brand

One study found that of 100 high achievers, 92 percent rated themselves with some degree of unhappiness. High achievers are typically: Driven, Responsible, Confident and Saddled with shaky self-esteem according to The High Achiever’s Guide to Happiness by Vance & Carol Ann Caesar, www.vancecaesar.com.

Is that your story? Hopefully not; however, if it does ring a chord you might consider investing some time working on YOU.

Years ago I heard a great simple story that I’d like to share.

“Build a better world!” said God.

“What can I do?” I said. “I am such a small part of this world, I don’t have any power or influence.”

And God in all His wisdom said: “David, you just build a better YOU!”

Yesterday I was on a conference call with Zig Ziglar, www.ziglar.com. One of the most important points he made was that to have a fulfilling life you have to figure out how to help others. He coined the phrase: “You can get everything you want in life if you will just help enough other people to get what they want.

An affirmation that is very useful for me is: “Every day in every way I’m getting better and better.” Work on YOU and figure out how you will help others and you will find happiness and rewards far more valuable than just money.

What’s in a word?

They said they were being “aggressive” and “creative” but the jury decided it was illegal and they were “guilty.”

Yesterday I attended a breakfast meeting of FCD, Forum for Corporate Directors, www.fcdoc.org, to hear a presentation by John C. Hueston, an attorney with Irell & Manella LLP, www.irell.com. John was the lead prosecutor in the trial of Jeffrey Skilling and Kenneth Lay of Enron.

There were two significant take aways that I wish to share with you. The first is to realize that everyone does what they do for a reason. It is important to be aware and pay special attention to their behavior as opposed to the words they use.

Let’s consider two of the more salient facts. Skilling resigned after six months in the position of CEO of Enron. Lay sold $70 milion of Enron stock. Both shared with their management people that things were “not good.” A few days later they told the press everything was fine. One of the core pillars of the government case was that the facts betrayed they had lied.

The prosecution did a masterful job of showing how the facts differed from their public statements and made it very clear and simple for the jury. Focus on peoples behavior to understand their motives.

The second take away is that quality communication is an absolute necessity in dealings with other people. When you read the actual letter that started the Enron legal saga, it screams “foul.” Lay got the letter describing the aggressive and creative accounting practices and passed it on to his advisors waiting for their recommendations. The attorneys and the accountants then proceeded to dance around the facts and figure out ways to protect the players and “their own huge fees.”

There was little or no concern for trust, respect, understanding or empathy for the investors. The result was a verdict of “guilty.” It was a similiar story in the case of Richard M. Nixon or Bill Clinton saying “It all depends on what “is” means.”

It’s easy to get wrapped up in all the details and convoluted versions of facts and figures or “he said, she said.” The bottom line is based on your behavior. Are people that know you or witness your behavior able to easily decide that they “trust and respect” you. Do you have understanding of yourself and others and does it include “empathy?”

“Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference.” Take time to reflect and evaluate which road you are going to take. It comes down to what and how you think, then say and ultimately, what you do (behavior.)

New Year Resolutions

This holiday season America paid tribute to Gerald Ford, 38th President of the United States, who died December 26, 2006. His was a remarkable career of public service. He was a high achiever in college, in football, law school, the military, the House of Representatives and the executive branch of our government, Vice President and President.

What is most remarkable to me is how effectively he achieved trust and respect from those who knew him best. It is also interesting that the public at large did not vote for him when he ran for president ostensibly because he pardoned Nixon. Historians are now saying it clearly was the right thing to do. The pardon began the healing process for the nation. He understood that was most important.

He had empathy for the people of the land. His decision to pardon Nixon provided resolution. A good leadership decision by Mr. Ford.

As you implement your New Year’s Resolutions I would encourage you to model your behavior after men like Gerald Ford. He was focused on the big picture and he put the people’s needs ahead of his own. This is why all those eulogizing Gerald Ford are reflecting on his significance and not his successes. What will people say about you?

An affirmation a day!

Every day in every way I’m getting better and better.

I feel healthy, I feel happy, I feel terrific.

I visualize myself having an ideal positive mental attitude, then I practice being that kind of person.

Yes, these are three of my favorite affirmations. We all talk to ourselves all the time. Some call it self talk. Some call it daydreaming. And some deny that they do it – that’s just the same type of thing only with a negative orientation as opposed to a positive orientation.

An affirmation is nothing more than a statement we make about ourselves in the first person. Ideally it should be in the present tense, be totally personal and have an emotional impact. What is amazing is that if we keep repeating an affirmation to ourselves, in time, we will believe it. First we have thoughts, then pictures in our mind and words, and finally it becomes a reality. This works either positively or negatively. You choose.

“As a man thinketh, so is he.” That’s what it says in the Bible. But what about science? What about other peoples influence? Why not be realistic?

My dear friends, science has now made and is continuing to make great progress in the study of the mind, memory, emotion and energy. One of my favorite and best received presentations is: “How to Manage Emotional Intelligence.”

Our mind is the only part of our body that can grow and improve through the years. It is continually changing. That change can either be in growth mode or it can be in the form of deterioration. The old adage, “Use it or lose it” really applies in the case of your mind.

Scientists are discovering that memory is resident in several parts of the body, not just the brain. The way you feel has a lot to do with what you allow yourself to think about. Most of us think about things that we have some knowledge about from our past experience, memory. That means that based on our past experience, we have a tendency to establish our thoughts and then our feelings. Good positive past experiences have a tendency to produce good positive thoughts in our current situations.

By the same token, if we think about a bad past experience, we will probably focus on the possible negative aspect of our current situation. What is absolutely EXCITING is that we have a CHOICE to think positively or negatively. By using affirmations, we are controlling our minds to focus on positive thoughts. That will help us to get positve outcomes.

Take that small action of repeating a positive affirmation. Repeat it until it becomes a habit. Then that habit will start to influence your attitude which will then change your feelings. Try it, you’ll like it.

Happy Holidays, It’s Time to Plan

This is a wonderful time of year. People visit at parties, families gather to celebrate, share time together and exchange presents, and hopefully we all think about “Joy to the World.”

thomas anders how deep is your love mp3 download

A great time to reflect. Where have you been and where are you going.

I treasure the slow down in appointments that usually happens for me during this season. I use the time to review my past calendar year and do some strategic and tactical planning for the next year.

If you do the same thing, may I recommend you review a few of the articles on the right hand column of this page. There is some good information about the process of setting goals. There is also insight about branding.

Saturday night at a holiday party I met an executive who recently left a major US corporation. He is rethinking his future plans. I was happy to refer him to a few books that might be helpful.

One of the offers I always make at my seminars is “I am just a phone call away.” If I may be of any assistance to you as you think and plan please don’t hesitate to call me. I’ll be in the office a lot between now and the end of the year. 714.771.7043.

One last thought as I sign off. If you haven’t already seen my website, please review it and give me some feedback. www.MoreThanTalent.com.

Thanks and I wish you and yours a marvelous holiday season.